First, I want to congratulate anyone who has ever been put in a spot where another person(s) has looked down on you, slighted you, or was less than appreciative of you because of their own insecurities and you rose above them and didn’t let them destroy you. You rock and the best way to teach mean people they’re wrong is by not playing into their hands. You know what they say… Don’t wrestle with a pig… You’ll just get dirty, and besides THEY LIKE IT.
Secondly, to those of you who got sucked in or let people get you into that boxing ring that don’t deserve your fighting energy, I am sorry and I have been there. I understand that humans are good at deceiving others and have the ability to even turn people on each other! Sometimes we find our selves in a boxing ring fighting with a puppet, while the puppeteer is out of arms reach. This post if for you folks and how to bow out of that ring with grace and class and your dignity in tact!
I’d like to bet that most people who end up in these tangles with mean people are typically Type A’s. While a Type B may experience these unpleasant folks, it is more likely they are to simply walk away, let it roll off their back, and achieves success by not stressing. Being a Type B means though that sometimes defeat and even losing others is a side effect. Type A’s, like myself, need to have control. Not necessarily control over a person, but if another try’s to control us or put us in nasty situations, we fight back! Another fun fact about Type A’s is that when we start something, we want to finish it NOW. So we think we can just hop into a boxing ring, throw up our left hook, knock em’ out and be done… but when it doesn’t go that way, Type A’s can find themselves in a WORLD of hurt.
O.K. so we’re a strong Type A that has found ourselves in Round 6 with probably either another strong Type A or even a *’puppeteer’. We are starting to feel like the fight simply isn’t worth it. This is especially the case when your opponent has a certain disposition towards you that is founded more on what they just want to believe versus the facts which are hard to swallow. So if this is the case and you couldn’t get them to come around by Round 6, it’s time to bow out. You know the phrase, let bygones be bygones. That is easier said than done though when you’re fighting to keep what you have. You don’t want to see the bygone take off with something you have worked so hard on!
*puppeteer – one who controls and creates situations or people to be of their own will but is exempt from any consequence. Martinet is also another term that can be used alongside this.
Well I am going to tell you something… If whatever you worked so hard on… a career, a relationship, money… leaves with that bygone, then it was a bygone as well. If you have truly worked hard and truly put nothing but pure effort and love into everything and that something disappears when you bow out, you deserve better! You deserve someone who will love and appreciate you for being punctual, enthusiastic, and make you into a team member instead of a battering ram for their own insecurities.
Another thing I want you to remember… You very well might be their first victim. But you will not be their last if you bow out of this battle. You may have done things that made them realize insecurities and setbacks in themselves and instead of being grateful for light being shed on these shortcomings, they do what they can to put the spot light on you. “And why behold you the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but consider not the beam that is in your own eye?” Matthew 7:3. I believe it seem fighting with a person that has a beam in their eye would be fighting in vain, and if they are a puppeteer, then it seems especially done in vain to the poor ‘cat’s paw’. I think that you can win this fight by taking a move from Type B’s and let the opponent have this match won. In reality, they are still battling with themselves until another opponent for them comes along. You won the moment you realized your energy and love isn’t being appreciated or optimized here and you yank the leach from your skin.
“But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. 2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, 4 treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people. 6 For among them are those who creep into households and capture weak women, burdened with sins and led astray by various passions, 7 always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth. 8 Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so these men also oppose the truth, men corrupted in mind and disqualified regarding the faith. 9 But they will not get very far, for their folly will be plain to all, as was that of those two men” 2 Timothy 3:1-9
It is our job as Christians to love and witness to others, but to tangle with wickedness is sin. (Even if you do not know the Lord, your worth as a human should still be preserved to its fullest!) “Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you” Matthew 7:6
Regarding leaving bad situations like this and bowing out, I believe meditation is key. We must clear our mind and our hearts of muddy thoughts. I believe that I deserve peace and happiness because all I give is such. You may find that your attacker isn’t satisfied with the lashings they have given yet, and they may try to pull you back in. To decipher if they are being genuine or not is hard when our mind’s and heart’s are not clear. For me as a Christian, when I lean not unto my own understand, but to that of the Lord’s, I gain clarity, wisdom, strength, and renewal in my soul. For if they deny my love and my attempts for resolve, then they deny that of God, because everything I do be done to My God’s expectation. (For us Christians we can not win peace with those who deny us Christians).
Of course I have a closing verse for you:
Philippians 4:4-9 4 the say 5 6 7 8 about 9
The Lord never said this would be easy or this would be a gentle life. A better life is waiting for us on the far banks of Jordan, and those who toil with technicalities of worldly matter will not be there. For the only way to God is through Jesus, and we can’t get there if we’re stuck in a battling ring. (Again, even if you don’t know The Lord, you can’t receive anything better than what is in that battling ring if you remain there.)
Lord we come to you today to bring peace and to guard our heart. Give us tongues that speak only kindness always and a mind that can rest in you. Show us the way through your word and help make the pains of this world be less severe. We pray that you bless our lives in all aspects so that we can grow your kingdom, Oh Lord. May we walk in a way that represents you and find solace in your presence, for it is all we will ever need.
We love you and give you all the glory,